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Art by Ingrid de Jong


Acryl op doek, 40x50 cm

Last night I dreamed that my burka was my pillow. Well, dreamed, it was more like a nightmare. Imagine, my body is no longer covered, but shown in complete freedom. Admittedly only in a dark starry sky, lit by a bright moon, but still. That would be unthinkable. It seems unheard of and inappropriate, but somehow it was also a nice dream. A dream of openness, of being feminine and beautiful. A dream of me knowing safe in space, protected by the dark and uninhibitedly free. It seemed as if I was dreaming with my eyes open and could examine every detail of my body in detail. From head to toe I was on a journey of discovery, I scanned myself and registered even the smallest birthmark. I devoured myself with my eyes. The soft flesh of my stomach and breasts seemed to be accentuated by the moonlight. I even turned around to try and get a good look at my backside. Two beautiful, round, female buttocks, which were unabashedly ''to be''. My buttocks. And I looked at it. Just couldn't get enough of it. In my dream I felt the coolness of the night touch my skin. Feather-light and unprecedentedly intense. So different from the stifling heat under my burka during the day. I don't even know what it feels like to feel the sun directly on my skin. Everything is always completely covered. What would it be like to feel a breath of fresh air in my hair instead of regaining my own breath? Sometimes I feel like I'm living in my own prison. No one ever gets to see me for who I am. All emotions hidden behind a piece of gauze. Facial expression and body language made invisible to others and my identity reduced to virtually zero. Would I know what to do with myself if I lived in a European country and was allowed to behave the way I did there? Could I communicate as people often do there, non-verbally, seductively, provocatively? Wouldn't I already feel completely naked wearing normal clothes? Sometimes I wish I could sleep naked under a starry sky in real life, but if there's one thing we all have in common, it's that impossibility. If only because of the mosquitoes. How wonderful are dreams in which there are no hindrances or inhibitions. Everything was possible tonight. Tonight I felt completely free and feminine.

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